Behind me painstaking barons burningly drug soldiers

This is a direct quote:

“Behind me painstaking barons burningly drug soldiers in huge piles of whale nets”

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Stewart on Bin Laden

The Daily ShowTags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

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Jon Stewart, Israel

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Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn’t you say?

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

  

This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.  It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!  They put in a correction the next day.     

[...]

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On Calling a Boner a Sleazebag

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I Think he can Plead Insanity on This One

See the original story at nj.com

Lakehurst man accused of pulling out own teeth with pliers to spook friend By The Star-Ledger Continuous News Desk September 28, 2009, 3:30PM

LAKEHURST — A Lakehurst man who pulled out his own teeth with pliers and sprayed blood all over his friend’s home in an attempt to scare [...]

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Concerned about Violent CRAAAAP

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1)Update Facebook Status. 2)Call Police

I just want to know what happens if they’re being chased by a convicted sex offender with a knife.

From the UK Telegraph.

Police in Australia have voiced their concern about the growing use of social networking sites after two young girls who were trapped in a drainage well system updated their Facebook profiles instead [...]

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Autotune the News!

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Man awakes with crochet needle stuck into urethra

From The News Courier of Alabama:

A Limestone County Sheriff’s deputy was called late Wednesday night to Huntsville Hospital to take an unusual report from a man who told officers he’d awakened with a crochet needle stuck into his urethra.

The man, who is not being named pending investigation, said he went to sleep with [...]

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