50 Things Not To Say In Bed

1. But everybody looks funny naked!
2. You woke me up for that?
3. Did I mention the video camera?
4. Do you smell something burning?
5. Can you please try breathing through your nose.
6. A little rug burn never hurt anyone.
7. Darling, did you lock the back door?
8. But whipped cream makes me break out in a rash.
9. [...]

Having Affairs

The 1st Affair:
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and [...]

Officers

A new Air force Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Afghanistan desert. During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the Sergeant why the camel is kept there. The nervous sergeant said, Well sir, as you know, [...]

Cruise Diary

DEAR DIARY . DAY ONE
I am all packed and ready to get on the cruiseship. I’ve packed all my pretty dresses andmake-up. I’m really excited.
DEAR DIARY . DAY TWO
We spent the entire day at sea. It was beautifuland we saw some whales and dolphins.What a wonderful vacation this has started to be. Imet the Captain [...]