iQuit

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Iran Atomic Sanctions Under Way

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Military Operations in Iran

“A retired Air Force colonel said that U.S. military operations are already under way in Iran. You know what that means, time to break out the old ‘Mission Accomplished’ banner.”

Jay Leno

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More Gaddafi Jokes…

“Today Moammar Gaddafi said he is going to fight to the death. Works for me.”

–Jay Leno

“Gaddafi’s sons are getting arrested. A revolution is not the best time to be a dictator’s sons, or as they’re called in Libya, dictator tots. It’s tater tots with a ‘dic’ in front.”

–Craig Ferguson

“It’s being reported that Moammar Gadhafi is surrounded by an elite core of female bodyguards. In a related story, Charlie Sheen invaded Libya.”

–Conan O’Brien

“I don’t think Khadafi gets it, because half the country is in rebel hands, his military is defecting and he’s being tried at the International Criminal Court. Somebody asked him today what he’s doing. He said, ‘Duh, winning!’”

–Bill Maher

Steve Martin tweeted:

“Lunch with Gadhafi, cancelled”

@TomGara tweeted that Gaddafi may or may not have been trying to look his best for his capture:

“Reports Gaddafi was captured wearing Laboutin heels, a hot-pink Roman toga and cowboy hat should be taken with a grain of salt.”

@TheTweetofGod tweeted:

“Qaddafi, Satan. Satan, Qaddafi. I believe you two know each other’s work.”

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Having a Ball with Gaddafi

Hilary has a ball with this little news item. So that’s the US foreign policy?

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Behind me painstaking barons burningly drug soldiers

This is a direct quote:

“Behind me painstaking barons burningly drug soldiers in huge piles of whale nets”

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Achmed The Dead Terrorist

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Stoned Cop 911 Call

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By Car or By Train

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Funny Anecdote

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only.” Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. “We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It’s easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what’s inside.”

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: “All the men on this floor are short and plain.” The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: “All the men here are short and handsome.” Still, this isn’t good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: “All the men here are tall and plain.”

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: “All the men here are tall and handsome.” The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: “There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman.”

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