A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I’m glad to see you’ve regained consciousness. You probably won’t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You’re going to be ok, you’ll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed [...]
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Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours. – Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour. As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says: – Gorgonzola! – Wait, it is not on yet. Don’t be a putz, share damn it… Tweet ABC’s of ex girlfriends: A is for Arteries. You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn’t care for you you twit she was only after your money and could have given a shit about you. B is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do [...] Don’t be a putz, share damn it… Tweet Tags: paranormal activity, parody, porn, Sex Jokes, sexual spoof Funny for WAY too many reasons. Here’s the original story. Man, 81, finishes race after borrowing a catheter MINNEAPOLIS – Organizers of the Twin Cities Marathon said they won’t disqualify an 81-year-old runner who won his age group after using a borrowed catheter. Jerry Johncock of Shelbyville, Mich., was sidelined at an aid station about [...] An Italian man said, “Last week, my wife and I had great sex. I rubbed her body all over with olive oil, we made passionate love, and she screamed for five full minutes at the end.” The Frenchman boasted, “Last week when my wife and I had sex, I rubbed her body all over with [...] We won’t embed the video for wont of offending our readers. However, here are some notable quotes: Speaking of the doctor: “He was the natural choice for investigating how someone attached a dried bull’s penis to the Oxford Ox, and why. Details have yet to be published.” Speaking of the MRI experiment: “It is an [...] Now this is something you don’t see every day… Don’t be a putz, share damn it… Tweet Tags: boobs, breasts, double d, handy, purse True Love Thanks to Today’s Joke. 1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed. 2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle. 3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!) 4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before [...] |
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