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A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. “Well,” said her mother, “how was the honeymoon?” “Oh, mama,” she replied, “the honeymoon as wonderful! So romantic…” Suddenly she burst out crying. “But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most [...] Original List: 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32): 1. Nice looking 2. Opens car doors, holds chairs 3. Has [...] share damn it… Tweet(function() {var s = document.createElement(‘SCRIPT’), s1 = document.getElementsByTagName(‘SCRIPT’)[0];s.type = ‘text/javascript’;s.async = true;s.src = ‘http://widgets.digg.com/buttons.js’;s1.parentNode.insertBefore(s, s1);})(); Tags: Advice, cars, Dear John, Men and Women, Newspaper This pretty much speaks for itself… Mental Note! Never piss off a woman with a Golf Club Never piss off a woman with a Golf Club Never piss off a woman with a Golf Club Never piss off a woman with a Golf Club Never piss off a woman with a Golf Club Never [...] My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’ I said, ‘ Dust.’ And then the fight started… ****************************************** My wife and I were watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do [...] share damn it… Tweet(function() {var s = document.createElement(‘SCRIPT’), s1 = document.getElementsByTagName(‘SCRIPT’)[0];s.type = ‘text/javascript’;s.async = true;s.src = ‘http://widgets.digg.com/buttons.js’;s1.parentNode.insertBefore(s, s1);})(); Tags: dogs, pets, south africa, Walking The Dog 5. Men are like parking spots: The good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped. 4. Join the Army, meet interesting people, then kill them. 3. Always be sincere, even if you don’t mean it. 2. Nostalgia ain’t what it used to be. 1. (Granted it’s not a one liner, but it’s pretty good…) [...] A Jewish husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says: She sees him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, “Who the hell was that?” “Oh,” [...] FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you [...] Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day…….. /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire… I noticed your cat. Sorry! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don’t fret about it… She moved in with me. [...] |
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