This went on for more than 3 years. The two [...]]]> A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for 25 cents each.. Every day a young man would leave his office building at lunch time, and as he passed the pretzel stand, he would leave her a quarter, but never take a pretzel.

This went on for more than 3 years. The two of them never spoke.

One day, as the young man passed the old lady’s stand and left his quarter as usual, the pretzel lady spoke to him. Without blinking an eye she said:
“They’re 35 cents now”.

Don't be a putz, share damn it...

• 

Here’s the original story.

Man, 81, finishes race after borrowing a catheter

MINNEAPOLIS – Organizers of the Twin Cities Marathon said they won’t disqualify an 81-year-old runner who won his age group after using a borrowed catheter. Jerry Johncock of Shelbyville, Mich., was sidelined at an aid station about [...]]]> Funny for WAY too many reasons.

Here’s the original story.

Man, 81, finishes race after borrowing a catheter

MINNEAPOLIS – Organizers of the Twin Cities Marathon said they won’t disqualify an 81-year-old runner who won his age group after using a borrowed catheter. Jerry Johncock of Shelbyville, Mich., was sidelined at an aid station about 21 miles into Sunday’s race because a blood clot prevented him from urinating. The aid station had no catheter, but a spectator stepped forward to offer Johncock a catheter he had in his car.

Aides helped insert the catheter and Johncock went on to finish in a little over 5 hours 22 minutes.

Race officials considered disqualifying Johncock because of a rule against improper assistance. But executive director Virginia Brophy Achman said they decided Johncock didn’t break the rule.

She called Johncock “a great role model and example of what you can do as a runner.”

Johncock’s wife, Dorlene, said her husband was cheered by the ruling. She said he found the whole situation a little humorous.

Don't be a putz, share damn it...

• 

Thanks to Today’s Joke.

1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before [...]]]>

True Love

Thanks to Today’s Joke.

1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember.

6. Keep the polygrip close by so your teeth don’t end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.

8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.

10. Don’t even think about trying it twice.

(I sent this in large type so you can read it)

Don't be a putz, share damn it...

• 

“Having sex at 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”

‘WalMart?’ the preacher exclaimed.

‘Why WalMart?’

‘Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week’

I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.

But, by the time I got my [...]]]> I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.

I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.

But, by the time I got my leotards on the class was over.

Don't be a putz, share damn it...

• 

She simply replied, ‘No peer pressure.’