Forwarded Joke: Funny Stuff Jokes Video & Pictures

pass it on… Tags: israel, jewish jokes

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies, ‘I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.’ She answers, ‘My son, you cannot offend me. [...]

What would these mothers say if they were Jewish? Alexander Graham Bell’s Jewish mother: “Nu, so you invented the telephone. You think you could give your mother ah call sometimes?” Paul Revere’s Jewish mother: “Why do you have to ride around like ah meshuganeh in middle of the night? Why can’t you ride during the [...]

A widowed Jewish lady was sunbathing on a beach at Ft. Myers Florida . She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand next to hers and began reading a book. Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. ‘Hello, sir, how are [...]

An Italian man said, “Last week, my wife and I had great sex. I rubbed her body all over with olive oil, we made passionate love, and she screamed for five full minutes at the end.” The Frenchman boasted, “Last week when my wife and I had sex, I rubbed her body all over with [...]

A Jewish husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says: She sees him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, “Who the hell was that?” “Oh,” [...]

If there is no self, whose arthritis is this? Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? Drink tea and nourish life; with the first sip, joy; with the second sip, satisfaction; with the third sip, peace; with the fourth, a Danish. Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another [...]

Iranian president Mahmud Ahmadinejad calls President Obama and tells him, Barack, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America , the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner.” “What did it say on the banners?” Obama asks. Mahmud replies, “UNITED STATES OF IRAN.” Obama says, “You know, Mahmud, [...]

4 Jewish ladies are playing a game of cards in Miami Beach. The first lady sighs and says, “Oy…” The second lady nods, sighs, and says, “Oy vey!” The third lady says, “Oy veys meer!” The fourth lady chimes in: “Enough talk about the children already. Let’s get back to the game.” pass it on… [...]

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?” He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?” He [...]