related jokes

• Autotune the News! (0)
• Yo Mama’s So Fat She Hid a Gun in her Fat Rolls. Seriously. (0)
• Voice Impressions (0)
• Tuba Jokes (0)
• Tight Parking Spot (0)

related jokes

• The Life and Triumphs of Forrest Gump (0)
• The Ass Family (0)
• Hiding War Refugees (0)

“Please remain seated with your seat belts fastened until this plane has come to a complete stop and the seat belt signs have been
turned off. We also wish to remind you that cell phones may not be used until the exit doors have been opened.”

“To those who are still seated, we wish you a Merry Christmas, and hope that you enjoy your visit to Israel. To those of you standing in the aisles and talking on your cell phones, we wish you a Happy Hanukkah, and welcome back home.”

related jokes

• Donating To Israel (0)
• Being Jewish in Israel (0)
• TOP 20 FLIGHT ADVERTISING SLOGANS (0)
• Sleigh Bells Ring, Are You Listening? (0)
• Sexy Chicken Fat (0)

For all of you out there who’ve had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you. An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.

A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was re booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped
his ticket on the counter and said “I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS.” The
agent replied, “I am sorry, sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you, but, I’ve got to help these folks first, and I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out.”

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?”

Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone, “May I have your attention please,” she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. “We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14.” With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore “F*** You!”.

Without flinching, she smiled and said, I’m sorry sir, you’ll have to get in line for that too.

related jokes

• You Might Be a Redneck If… (0)
• Where White Hair Comes From (0)
• United Airlines Breaks Guitars (0)
• Top 5 One Liners of the Day (0)
• TOP 20 FLIGHT ADVERTISING SLOGANS (0)