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I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my [...] I’ve sure gotten old! I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and [...] Tags: fart, farting, library, Videos Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: ‘And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?’ the reporter asked. She simply replied, ‘No peer pressure.’ Tags: old age, peer pressure, reporters, women Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, ‘How old was your husband?’ ’98,’ she replied. ‘Two years older than me’ ‘So you’re 96,’ the undertaker commented. She responded, ‘Hardly worth going home, is it? Tags: funeral, old age If there is no self, whose arthritis is this? Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? Drink tea and nourish life; with the first sip, joy; with the second sip, satisfaction; with the third sip, peace; with the fourth, a Danish. Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another [...] A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his assignment in Israel . A friend asked, “Why weren’t you successful with the Israeli’s?” The salesman explained, “When I got posted in the Middle East , I was very confident that I would make a good sales pitch in rural areas. But, I had [...] |
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